how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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