That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
