i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
