they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize