Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
