he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Sext me about skeletons
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
