Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
He better not be in your backpack
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Randomize
