with your own penis?
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize