my being single is dangerous.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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