i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
