Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
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