if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Randomize
