I want to walk on stilts...naked
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
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