Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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