why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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