I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
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