You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
