I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
