I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Randomize
