Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize
