hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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