You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
