So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
