it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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