No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
