He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
