...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Randomize
