Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
