Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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