its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
