8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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