Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
