splinters make it hard to masturbate
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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