I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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