do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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