seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
