Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
