Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
