We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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