you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
