i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
