Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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