Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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