i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
there's paper in my vomit.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
