How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
