We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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