I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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