She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
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Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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