I just cut my nipple shaving
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
