please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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