My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.