its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho