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• (419): View more from Ohio

  The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?

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  These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities

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• (228): View more from Mississippi

  There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.

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• (479): View more from Arkansas

  Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.

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• (870): View more from Arkansas

  I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile

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• (585): View more from New York

  Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?

  (1-585): View more from New York

  Or possibly end in a restraining order?

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  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

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• (865): View more from Tennessee

  Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment

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• (512): View more from Texas

  Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.

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• (516): View more from New York

  My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me

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