...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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