I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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