I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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