Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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